I met her on Tinder
Trust me, I never in a million years would I have thought a girl I met on Tinder would end up becoming my girlfriend. It wasn't even close to the plan. I had gone out on Tinder dates the previous three nights, and had a few planned the nights following our date. There wasn't supposed to be anything magical about this date -- except for, hopefully, sex. And even that probably wouldn't have been magical. More like... a great cap to a nice evening together. During the date, I even had a girl on standby just in case things didn't go well. And I know what you're thinking: scumbag, player -- whatever. But the truth was, I never lied to any of these girls about who I was or my intentions. I genuinely just like being single and seeing what's out there -- and I made it abundantly clear to them.
Our Date Got Off To A Rough start
Remember when I said I had a girl on standby just in case the date went to hell? Well, I almost had to push that button, until things took a turn for the better. She mentioned that she was vegan. At the time, I wasn't vegan yet. But I kept getting these signals from the universe in the form of youtube videos. So I was investigating them. And she started sharing reasons as to why she was vegan and how much it had helped her. When someone does something for fifteen years, they're automatically an expert -- I don't care what it is. So I sat there drinking it all in -- along with my vodka soda -- and just listened to her expertise. It was so interesting, and the more she passionately talked about it, the hotter she became. And then, all of sudden, we had common ground. I relaxed on the urge to text the other date and stuck it out. And to make a small story short, we started dating shortly after that.
I Went Vegan
I ended up going completely vegan the following month -- and I loved it. At first, my girl was stressing the health thing, but the more I got into it, I realized I was doing it because it was the right thing to do. I just considered the health thing to be an awesome added bonus. So, we got closer and closer, and our lives started to intersect more and more. We would even go out together and, as a tandem, turn down requests for food and activities that didn't fit into our vegan lifestyle.
WANNA CONNECT TO THE PLANT-BASED COMMUNITY?
Her Family Loved Meat
She came from a long line of meat-eaters. And they would, at times, make fun of her and tease her. But they never did it in front of me (probably because I was 4 inches taller and 30 pounds heavier than every man in her family). She loved her family and would see them at least a few times a week -- which is saying something because they lived 45 mins away). But I thought it was cool that they all got along like they did, and always accommodated both of our lifestyles when we were around.
Turn for the worse
One of the managers quit at one my job's offices in Chicago, so I was going to have to start flying there a lot (from NY) until they found someone else. Sometimes for weeks at a time. When I was away, she started complaining of being super fatigued. I told her to go see someone -- which she did. But the someone she went and saw was recommended by her parents... and ate meat -- which she didn't tell me at the time. A few weeks into a trip she tells me the findings; that she's 'b12 deficient', and, basically, that this nutritionist she'd gone to had told her she should start eating small amounts of meat. It was ironic because I laughed at first, expecting her to do the same -- but she didn't. She told me was considering it... because she'd been doing a lot of research on her own.
She had to be joking. At least I hoped she was. I didn't get how, after 15 years, she could even consider some BS ONE nutritionist told her. She gave me so many excuses that it would take a day to write them all. But the gist was, she wanted to try something 'new'. And this new came in the form of small amounts of meat. 'It wouldn't be that much' she told me. Needless to say, I wasn't with it. I just didn't understand it, and still don't for that matter. We had bonded over veganism, and now she was turning her back on it. I just don't f*cking get it!
Our Relationship Started To Change
There was this something in the air with us, and I'm not talking about the meat she started eating once or twice a week. Things just weren't the same. We didn't have that bond anymore. Our chemistry was off. And we just weren't 'us' anymore. This wasn't very long ago, mind you. And yes, we're still together. But a big part of me thinks that's only because of what we used to have. I have no idea what I'm supposed to do -- or who I'm even supposed to talk to about it. And whenever I bring up her getting the opinion of another nutritionist, or something, it turns into a fight. So, yes, my vegan friends, that's my story. I am a man, with a formerly vegan girlfriend, that has no idea what to do or where to go from here. I'm not even sure if this is a cry for help, as much as just a way to vent. But that said, I have no idea what to do. I mean, what do you do when someone does a 180-degree change on something you both initially connected on? Something that's been such a big part of your lives? I have no clue. And I may never get to the bottom of it. I'm just lost and looking for answers...
Vegr Contributor, IT Consultant, Yogi.
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