Vegan Dating: from a Woman’s Perspective

*Below are actual excerpts from two online conversations I had. Sad, but true..

Him: Hi!

Me: Hello

Him: You’re beautiful

Me: Thank you

Him: How long have you been vegan?

Me: 4 years. And you?

Him: Vegans suck!!!

 

Another time…

Him: Hi. How are you today?

Me: Fine. And you?

Him: Great. Just wanted to tell you that I think you’re very lovely – especially for a vegan.

Me: Great, thank you (*rolls eyes*, never to talk to him again)

 

Pre-vegan:

I’ve gotten used to it. Not to say that it didn’t throw me a bit when it first happened. I showed it to everyone I knew that would get it. And after the anger subsided it became a little bit of a running joke. We even started a whatsapp group and started sharing things of the ‘vegan dating’ hate nature. Instead of letting it piss us off, we turned it into a game (yay us). But the major point in all this is that yes, dating as a vegan woman is hard. But getting silly/dumb comments from boys isn’t the only reason. Let me do my best to explain the main reasons why it can be difficult, and how I go about dealing with it.

*And please understand, these are why it's been hard for ME. Yours, of course, may be different. 

 

1) Silly comment about Vegans

Listen, I understand how crazy/interesting it can be to meet someone who's vegan. But there is a difference between a good question and one that literally is just plain stupid. Yes, I will say that the large majority of my problems have been with guys that simply don’t get why I’m vegan. They just can’t believe it – because ‘I’m not a stick’ – as they put it. This kind of ridiculousness led me to want to only partake in vegan dating. I know, I shouldn't let one bad apple spoil the whole bunch, but I like kissing too much. And if he's just had a steak or nachos, or whatever else non-vegans eat — no thank you. 

 

2) Maturity

Men can be such immature little boys sometimes. I mean, seriously guys, it's time to grow up! Listen, I'm sure you have a nice piece of artwork in your pants. And I'm sure you think it's the greatest thing since sliced bread. But I don't want to see your ding-ding or pee-pee unwarranted. Especially in the first five minutes of us chatting. Maturity in men seems to be as infrequent as the places that give away free money. At least I know how to make my own money, though.

WANNA CONNECT TO THE PLANT-BASED COMMUNITY?

3) Interest

I think a lot of vegan men think that because they’re vegan, that’s enough. Let me be clear about something: I will not settle. And that is something that stretches across all aspects of my life. In the same way I don’t want to date some weekly wing-eating champion, is the same way I don’t want to date some boring vegan guy. Yes, compassion is sexy, but so is adventure and intrigue. So how about a little conversation and humor? As improbable as it all seems — I know and believe that I can have it all. And I won't stop until I find it.

 

4) Flakes

I’m not one to dwell, but wow, here in LA there are so many flakes. I thought when I started this whole vegan dating journey, being immersed in the vegan community would shield me from a lot of the typical LA flakery (I know proximity is the problem for many women, but here in LA there are a lot more choices when it comes to vegan men). I was wrong. Vegan men have made dates, cancelled dates, and made them again — just to cancel them all over. I’m not one to let society affect me and how I live my life — but trust me, when it happens a few times, a fleeting thought of ‘is it me’ passes through your head. 

 

The Real Deal

I got in touch with the team from Vegr asking them more about their goals and what they wanted Vegr to be overall. Needless to say, I’m on board… to an extent. But it;s why I asked to guest-blog for them. More so because I am a skeptic. I told them all of my wants, and they promised to do their best to grant them all. What more can I really ask until they launch?

 

Finally

In closing, vegan dating for me has been tough — but not unlike anything else out there, I guess. I want a vegan man, that has direction, appreciates me, and can do all of that stereotypical, romantic movie stuff. Yes, I am free-thinking and independent, but I sometimes just want to be treated like a lady, and just be able to hang out with no crazy expectations. I am writing this message with an extreme hope, and everything on my body crossed, that Vegr will be everything that it says it will be. Until the launch, ladies and gentlemen. Until the launch…

Isadora Graham
Vegr Contributor, Teacher, Blogger.



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