Great! You have finally scored a date with a cute someone who respects your vegan lifestyle or even better — is vegan! The problem is that because you’re vegan, and hardly date (due to a lack of options), you’re probably a little rusty — and may find it a little nerve-wracking. After all, if this doesn’t go well, who knows when your next date is going to ensue.
Alas, I’m here to help. As a former dating coach (for both men and women) and a proud vegan who loves his people and wants to give back to his vegan brethren, I have compiled 5 ingredients that’ll boost your first date success odds. Have a read and may the force be with you!
I know, it’s so tempting to ramble on about your accomplishments, or exciting week — or even your most recent camping trip. It’s almost therapeutic. But dating is not therapy. It’s important stuff. I used to work as a speed dating host back in the day and the one thing I have gathered from that unusual, yet exciting job is that people who listen intently, and show interest in the other person, perform 80 percent better than those who don’t — regardless of external appearance.
Hear what they have to say, listen to them and respond accordingly. Listening has an impeccable effect on attraction. It makes people feel comfortable in your presence and entices them to open up to you. Remember the old saying, “you have two ears and one mouth for a reason”.
ENERGY IS YOUR SECRET WEAPON
So, what does make someone likable and irresistible?
Their stories? Perhaps. How they smell? Maybe. Their listening? Well, yeah.. duh. Their energy? You bet!
People feed off other people’s energy. If you’re high energy, they will love being around you. Be mindful of their energy. If you’re on a high, don’t overdo it. It can have an adverse effect. But people with healthy levels of high energy are, on average, more attentive, funnier, more charming, and more willing to take risks. On the day of your date, ensure you have slept and eaten well, and have exercised. And most of all, be excited! This is a mere intangible, but will benefit you in ways you couldn’t imagine.
LEARN TO LAUGH AT YOURSELF
There’s nothing more disarming and appealing than someone with a sense of humor. Life’s hard enough as it is, and if you can’t laugh at your quirks, then don’t expect it to get any easier. If you can joke about your peculiar idiosyncrasies, it’ll show your date that you’re comfortable in your own skin and that you’re not insecure. The best (and most likable) comedians are those who can laugh at their personal experiences and hardly mock others. It moreover shows signs of humility — which is utterly attractive to most people. Humble is sexy.
On that note, learn to also take a joke. Appreciate their humor and if they decide to engage in friendly banter, play along. Banter is such an important factor in rapport building. But that's another topic for another blog.
WANNA CONNECT TO THE PLANT-BASED COMMUNITY?
FIND ONE THING YOU LIKE ABOUT THEM
This is an old, underrated trick I use not only for dates, but for important meetings and interviews. Dating can be nerve-wracking enough as it is, so this is a huge boost.
The minute you meet the person, find something you like about them. Their hair may remind you of an old high school friend who was good to you. Or their voice may sound like that of your best friend. You may just like their style or smile. Literally find anything. There’s no right or wrong. It can be the silliest thing in the world; only you will know about it.
By finding at least one likable or relatable quality in that person, you’re enabling yourself (and them) to unfold with greater ease, and your chemistry will feel more organic. To some degree, you’ll talk to them like you’ve known them for years, and consequently they will feel more comfortable around you. Try it. It works like a charm.
SET UP YOUR NEXT DATE
Yep. It’s time to hit two broccolis with one stone. Think of something you’d like to do for your second date and workshop it together. It’s a fun exercise and is highly efficient in building rapport together with anticipation.
I hope this helps and please keep us posted!
Vegr Contributor, Dating Specialist, Entrepreneur.
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